Do You Have Your Shit Together?

Mehri toddler picDo you feel like you’ve got your shit together? Have you ever felt that way? My suspicion is that most of us do not feel like we’ve got it all together. Perhaps I’m wrong. Bipolar disorder, however, has made it especially difficult for me to feel like I’ve ever got my life together. When I’m depressed, I accomplish nothing and quickly fall behind in life. When I am hypomanic, I am usually playing catch up to barely squeak by until the next time depression strikes.

My childhood is all that I have to compare to for what a “normal” mood is. As a little girl I was happy, content, relaxed; everything a child could be lucky enough to be. As I grew into the preteen years, so did the depression and anxiety.

The years of a “normal” mood are far behind me, but I aspire to get back there one day.  The lack of stability in my life has only made me appreciate my “good” days so much more, and for that I’m incredibly grateful. I may not have my shit together, but life is good.

I am so bipolar, and unashamed.

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