Bipolar & Denial

Just a friendly reminder that it’s okay to laugh at ourselves, even if we have some somewhat embarrassing moments during manic episodes.

15 thoughts on “Bipolar & Denial

  1. I “knew” for about 4 years that I had bipolar but did nothing about it (denial) and waited for a “something HAS to be done” moment to get help. It really humbled me and now there’s no denying it. I would love to ride off on that unicorn, though. 😉

    1. Hahaha, yea the unicorn can sometimes not always be glitter and rainbows! Also, I think sooo many people wait for that “something has to be done moment.” Sometimes that is just what it takes :).

  2. I have had BAD depression before to the point of requiring 19 ECT’s and meds to come out of it. My psych wrote back in 2015 that she thought I was bipolar II, but never said anything. I got really sick in July of this year and could not keep anything in my intestines for 6 weeks. Got off all meds, lost 32 pounds and then went MANIC! I thought I was just feeling great off the meds, new body, went insane on the house, vacation, then…………….I had a BIG explosion with my hubby and left to my bff in Vegas, driving straight there! I had time to evaluate things and went home 4 days later.
    Anyways, my weekly group therapist, and then my psych Dr. visit, made me realize my diagnosis IS Bipolar II.
    I am not ashamed for my behavior. It’s my life. It is also hereditary. There are many in my family line that suffer with Mental Illness of some sort, so I have alot of support. That’s my story.
    Today, I am balanced. Tomorrow, who knows, but at least I KNOW what I’m dealing with now and I can try to manage myself better.
    Best wishes to all that suffer.

    1. Also have been diagnosed with BD II, and how did you come to accept it without feeling shameful about it? This is one of the hardest aspects that I face each day, and hope maybe, you might be able to help clarify ways to self-love more avidly.

      1. I struggle now with the manic side. I am in my 60’s. I’ve had a hell of a time getting here.
        Im thankful I know what I have. Never be ashamed. Its an illness like parkinson, Alzheimers. Get help, get knowledge, accept. It will be ok

  3. At the age of 20, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and the denial has been extreme to the point where the only thoughts that went through my mind were everyone misunderstood who I am. It’s still extremely difficult to accept the help, and I was wondering if there is an easier way to see that this diagnosis is not what defines me. It makes me feel like I need to lie about who I am even though there are a wide variety of people who also share this disorder. The biggest fear is that I am also similar to my mother who lived with manic depression (possibly Bipolar) and never really changed on medication. How do we as individuals try something different in order to better our lives? This may sound incoherent, and I apologize if it does, some times my thoughts are not all collected. Does this get easier??

    1. Hi Ashley, you are not incoherent at all, and thanks for reaching out! The way I personally came to shameless full acceptance with bipolar was when I fully researched the disorder. I had to convince myself that what I was experiencing was a medical condition. Sometimes the way bipolar is presented by society is that it is an intangible almost made up condition to explain “mood swings.” Once I fully understood why my brain functions differently I was able to accept that just like anyone else with a disorder or condition, i.e. diabetes, I should not be ashamed of my condition just as they are not. I did not choose to have manic highs and deeply low depressions

      Another thing that helped me, surprisingly, was when I started to tell others that I had bipolar. For years I didn’t tell anyone. By keeping a secret about my disorder, there was really no choice but to feel shame about my secret. When you tell others your secret, your secret no longer has control over you. The more and more people I told, the more loving and accepting I realized people are. For those that reacted negatively to my condition, I learned to not let it bother me because of all the support I have received from those who truly care. Besides, bipolar is not shameful, it’s just not. The more we reach out to people, I have found the more love we can give and receive. Everyone chooses whether they tell others about their bipolar or not. And I think that is a very personal decision.

      Self-love for me (something I still struggle with!) is a reminder that when I am either depressed or hypomanic to recognize what it is, and to just stop beating myself up over it. Forgiveness for myself is a big part of self love. We can choose to live in the past and ruminate over what we did wrong or we can live in the moment and be kind to ourselves. That is a choice. For me personally, this is what worked for me. I hope any of this helped. All the best to you!

    2. I sure hope so. I am 63 and diagnosed bipolar11. On same meds over ten years. Just keeps me from melting down that’s all. Finally we are going to try lithium.i am so afraid of weight Gail.

      1. So many are afraid of weight gain with meds. My philosophy is you’ll never know if you don’t try it out for yourself. I have tried traditionally weight-gaining meds where I didn’t gain a pound. Sometimes I even lost some weight. I was on Lithium actually and did’t gain anything, but was also diligent about good nutrition and exercise. Lithium is a lifesaver for many, just be sure to get regular Lithium blood tests. All the best to you, I hope you find what you are looking for.

      2. I went back on the generic Seraqual because I was quite manic. It helps me because it is a mood stabilizer. It does not cure me. It was suggested for me to try Lithium, but I am choosing to increase my dosage slowly of Seraqual. I am on my second uptake now.

  4. Fabulous comment and so true. I can now recognize my episodes and remove myself so I dont lash out OR bring another down. Others dont feel like me. I try to respect that. It is refreshing to read and share with others struggling. Bless us all

  5. I am having a dark morning. Theres been a few lately. Ive been able to work with my depression and non-stop panicky feeling with exercise,going outside, shower, nothing is changing my thoughts today. Im depressed and panicked. Any more suggestions? Feeling hopeless today.

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