My husband, whom I have lovingly deemed the poster-child for mental health, thinks about things once, makes his decision and confidently moves on. Meanwhile, five hours later, I am still anxiously figuring out what to do.
Why is this? Why is he able to do what takes me five hours, in one minute? I get that we are all individuals and therefore will handle things differently, but I would like to know how to stop overthinking and move on with life. I feel stuck. Or am I overthinking this?! Ha! Any of you relate or have advice?
Story. Of. My Life.
Well I have been overthinking about this post for a couple hours, haha. I will get back to you in a couple hours. 😁 I don’t know why we do it but I wish we didn’t. It drives me a little crazy, LOL.
For example, I can stand in the laundry detergent aisle and stress about what brand to buy for well over 45 minutes. I fear that there’s a black and white, right and wrong answer to everything I do. No gray. No “It’s really not that big of a deal.” I think what it really comes down to is a fear of letting someone down, whether that’s family, friends, or myself (my harshest critic).
I find that this is an early warning sign of an impending mood episode. When my decision making is going south, my mood is about to, too.
From someone who has made the worst life decisions in a split second, a little overthinking is actually welcome.
@Elizabeth B, I think you may have something with the mood episode and overthinking. For me I identify it with the depressive end. As my mind slows down so does the decision making process. Other than that, I’m always slow at decision making. Never wanting to miss out on something is part of it. 2 sides to every story, just like me, ha.
i relate completely. Today, at Walmart I was getting toilet cleaner. Thankfully there were only two different kinds, so I bought both.
The other thing that I find incredibly difficult with my husband is he can fall asleep in a minute and it takes me 2 – 3 hours of getting my mind to STOP so I can fall asleep, therefore we don’t go to bed together anymore or not very often. Makes me sad.
I so relate! I just got on Lithium and I feel good the mania is gone except for tonight because I am overthinking how the Lithium makes me feel or not feel.
It’s a tortuous part of our disorder. I haven’t found a fix for it yet. Some times are worse than others.
Yes when it comes to shopping, I worry that I’m going to run out of somethimg. I mostly worry about that because I am on my home-spun schedule,
Which means no schedule. (sounds fun….But I would much rather be a full functioning active part of society( I hate when people suggest that this would solve my PROBLEM!) anyway I am active at night. Creative ,energetic, self -starter( not a self-finisher) dammit! So I think I’m going to need more of something at night when stores are closed…and I won’t be able to half finish the thing I partially started…. SO I BUY 6 of everything. Good thing I’m very resourceful and don’t require the finer things in life anymore!!! Yes my requirements have changed….ugh
It takes me forever to make decisions when shopping. I can never decide. Well unless I have a fav brand I use all the time. It takes my husband a quarter the time at the grocery store.
I know your pain all too well. Trying to find just the right pencils for school, or which berries to put in my smoothie. Some days are better than others, but I’ve come to learn that sometimes the decision doesn’t matter as much as just making one. I learned this from a friend.
He told me that the only decision you have to make sometimes is between making a decision or just remaining stuck.
Thank you for your website and your uplifting message. You are keeping me going!
I love what you said about it not only being about the decision rather just about making one. And in my case, to learn to be ok with the decision no matter what. Thank you! And thank you for your kind words, you keep me going! 💚
This is the biggest reason why i have sleep problems. I lay awake all night over thinking decisions that I’m gonna have to make tomorrow. Or overthinking what to say during conversations I know I will have to have tomorrow. It seems like a never ending cycle of anxiety that always spirals into something bigger. Lord help me, I’ll get it all worked out one day. But for now, thanks for the blog.
I hear what you are saying, because i have been there. Talk therapy, counseling, whatever you call it was hugely helpful to me in reducing this type of rumination and anxiety. I have learned how to let things go after countless therapy sessions. Granted, i still have my “moments,” but am now much better equipped to deal. I highly recommend therapy for this if you are looking to end the cycle. Much love to you, here for you!