Last post on http://www.SoBipolar.com we focused on the depressive symptom of fear and paranoia, now moving onto…
Isolation
Bipolar highs are exhausting, and the lows numbing. When the agonizing depression has become unbearable the only place left is complete solitude and isolation from the world.
The world becomes too much, too overwhelming to participate in.
To some degree every person, bipolar or not, needs “down time.” Time to decompress, time to relax and forget about the day’s troubles. Bipolar isolation is different. When I isolate from the world I physically feel ill. My entire body aches. I swear I can actually feel my brain hurting. From the tips of my eyelashes to my toes, I feel exhausted, depleted of everything I have left to give.
Most of the time I will set up camp in my bedroom; my safe place. Amongst my cool sheets and plush pillows I can lose myself. If my busy life does not allow me to have time to isolate I feel like I am trudging through a swimming pool filled with thick mud. Although not impossible, it might as well be.
How many times have you muttered the words; “I just want to be left alone”?
Next post we will discuss the depressive symptom of suicidal ideation.
** As always, please remember, I am not a doctor. Just a so bipolar lady with a computer. So if you suspect you or someone you know has bipolar disorder, always consult with your physician or psychiatrist first.
I am so bipolar, and unashamed.
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I trudged through the mud pool so long that I lost my job. I had pushed through on shear will and fortitude long work days into long nights of home repairs and such. It was a mixed relief/burden to be out of work and money. Then came a major surgery and recovery. At 62 it looks bleak, but retirement will it be sufficient. I get hopeful in the upside, and of course downcast in real viewpoint. Mostly down now. Tired from a long night up.
My apologies for not seeing this message from back in April! For some reason I was never notified of close to 20 comments that are just now showing. At any rate, thanks for your comment :). I quit one of my jobs due to the mud pool as well, along with the anxiety. It’s really very difficult to have to make huge life decisions based on the symptoms of an illness. Our value however, is not in the job we have, car we own, how much money we make, or when or how we will retire. Our worth is in our souls, in our hearts, and in how we treat others. The rest is all fluff.