Bipolar Overwhelmed

IMG_9540.JPGNever knowing which of my brains is going to show up for work in the morning leaves me with constant anxiousness.

Today my overwhelmed-can’t-accomplish-anything-no-matter-how-small-brain showed up. Awesome.

I want my brain to stop. But it won’t. Sometimes I ask my husband what he is thinking and he says, “nothing.” How nice that must be. I’m so jealous. I cannot fathom what ‘nothing’ or what a ‘relaxing’ thought must feel like. It just does not happen for me.

When setting out to accomplish a task, my head skips from point one to point 100 in a matter of seconds. My brain combines the hundreds of steps an ordinary brain would not even think about, and creates this giant overwhelm. My brain basically tells me, ‘you can’t do that.’

So here I am, trying to fight back my overwhelmed brain. How do I stop from becoming so easily overwhelmed? I’d love all your thoughts and ideas on this. So far I’ve come up with focusing on what I CAN do vs the limitations my brain has set. Easier said than done, but here I go.

 

I’m so bipolar, and unashamed.

 

One thought on “Bipolar Overwhelmed

  1. Sweetheart, I’m interviewing and hoping through each one. My feelings zip to Mount Euphoria through forests of doubt to depths of depression, often overlaid, particularly while allergies burn my eyes and nose. Without meds, my wife says that I’m different, mostly more something and less out of it.
    I cling to the simple and cherish moments of stillness, in first5 readings in the still night/morning, by knowing still by definition, analyzing what is with respect to memory-tempered observation.
    I still miss the two-liter bottles right on the bar nearby, lose my phone (frequently showing missed calls for those helping me find it), keys–I have the tile that the phone finds on the key ring, and something else–I know that I’m entertaining new connections, one in France, who move me to think differently, tantalizing the verbal hunger for new terms and reversion to the new-word-a-day phase in school.
    Not knowing how long this might last, I have some hope. I fight the urge to exercise the euphoric urges to offer my phone number to all that I want to help through issues.
    Because your discussions helped me so, I’m glad to exchange direct messages (@pipersdad_ on Instagram with a link in bio to Facebook Fred Holt, also LinkedIn Fred Holt, and my phone if that might make a difference with you. Your husband sounds like a true gem, as my wife is, and likely helps you through more than any stranger living several states away. Still, I’m here for you and ever praying to the One Faithful and True with you, trusting when you are so overwhelmed and wishing calm upon you. In tears I pray and hope for your peace and rest and confidence. God bless you, beautiful soul, precious daughter of Most High God. I also find peace listening to Jenn Johnson songs and talks. https://youtu.be/77cwl530Ngg right now as I’m crying through it praying for you.
    Fuel your soul with whatever really love you back and fills you. I keep telling how I love strong women as you make the world a better place. 🙏❤️💔❤️🙏💪

    Like

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