Love begets love, which cultivates joy, happiness, and peace. The opposite of love, which is fear, seeps anger, anxiety, irritability, and depression into our lives.
If we get to know our fears on a very real and personal level, we can move on from the ugliness of fear. To be truly honest with ourselves of what our fears are, takes a great deal of introspection.
To help illustrate this idea, think of an onion. The center of the onion is your deepest fear, while the outer layers are what you might think are your fears, but are not quite the root of the fear.
Let’s say that you are struggling with depression. You think the root of your problem is that you just can’t do anything right. This is what peeling the onion might look like for you:
Why am I sad? I’m sad because I can’t do anything right. Why can’t I do anything right? Because I feel so overwhelmed. Why do I feel overwhelmed? Because I have too much going on and can’t do everything exactly the way I want to. Why do I want to do everything perfectly? Because if I don’t, I won’t have control over things. Why does not having control worry me? Because I think I will fail. Why does failure worry me? Because I think people will be disappointed in me. Why do I want others’ approval? I want them to love me.
The root of the depression is the fear that people won’t love you. Once that is recognized you can work on healing that fear.
Keep asking the “why” questions, and you will peel the onion layers away until you feel that you can peel no further.
Once you have eliminated your fear, you will be able to love like never before, which is where true happiness lies.