My 16 Year Old Nephew Just Lost His Battle with Bipolar

At my nephew’s viewing. Because of Covid, only 10 of us were allowed at his funeral.

My nephew, Christian.

“They found his body,” were the words my husband told me. I dropped to my knees screaming. Words cannot express the utter sadness I felt when I received the news that my nephew, Christian, died of bipolar by way of suicide. I believe it is important to say that he “died of bipolar” and not he “committed suicide” because that implies he did something that was in his control. Bipolar had taken over his mind. I know, because I have been in the suicidal mindset myself and by the grace of God I was able to receive the medication I needed to get me out of my bipolar depression. Unfortunately, my nephew was not as lucky.

I could go on and on about how incredible my nephew was; brilliant, handsome, athletic, kind, infectious smile. But the reality is none of that mattered in the end because he was sick. He needed help. Why is it so dang hard for those of us with mental illness to find and receive help? We always say, reach out for help, but when we do it seems like not much happens. It took me two years of suicidal ideation to finally get the medication I needed. My nephew reached out multiple times, he even stayed at a psychiatric hospital. Nothing was helping him. When coronavirus hit and social distancing had him quarantined in his home without social interaction it took his mental illness from not good to uncontrollable.

I miss him. I miss him so much.

Please check on your loved ones, especially during this time of the pandemic. There is more than just the pandemic of the coronavirus happening, so many are suffering with their mental health as a result.

If you are suffering from a mental illness, please, please, PLEASE continue to reach out for help. You will feel better, these tough times will pass, you just have to give us time to help you.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255 should you or a loved one need to talk. If you feel it is an emergency, please go to your nearest emergency room. Let them help you. Please.

I love you.

If you wish to donate to Christian’s GoFundMe here is his link.

8 thoughts on “My 16 Year Old Nephew Just Lost His Battle with Bipolar

  1. Your pain hurts so very, very much. I am so very sorry to hear this terribly sad news. ❤️🙏🏻❤️😢😢😢

  2. I am so so sorry for you & your family’s loss Mary. There are many painful and awful things in this world that are just inexplicable – the suffering from mental illness like bipolar included. I’m truly grieved by the loss of this wonderful boy with a big heart, who truly fought hard.

    I cannot wait till God wipes away every tear, and there is absolutely no more death, mourning, or pain. Until then, God mourns with you. I pray that He will bring a deep comfort in your heart and give you the strength and endurance to keep the faith and keep doing the good work you’ve been doing.

    1. Thank you so much for your remarkably kind words. I have seen God’s love, mercy, compassion, and comfort through all of this. I really appreciate you taking the time to write these words to me. God bless!!♥️♥️♥️ Hope you are well.💚

  3. My heart breaks for you and your family’s loss.

    I just came to your blog today after finding the story about you and your husband and I was shaken a bit to find this posted. After many years I’ve just finally received a bipolar diagnosis and have started taking lithium as a mood stabilizer. My wife and I are fighting to stay married despite the scar tissue of the past. Wanted to let you know I appreciate you and find particular hope in seeing that you and your husband were able to make it work somehow. I love my wife and two boys, but it is so hard, so hard and things are so raw between us. I also understand how dark suicidal thoughts can consume . . . it is only because I decided not to act on them and that I cared to much about how much I knew it would hurt those I cared about that kept me from going down the same path as your nephew during my darker days. Having seen the devastation that resulted when a coworker (who incidentally also had bipolar disorder) I think also helped solidify in my mind the importance of deciding not to act on those thoughts and waiting them out until they pass . . . also struggling long enough with the illness to have the knowledge that the blackness does pass if you wait . . . getting up the next morning can bring a better mood. Had I been Christian’s age, I don’t know how I would have endured what I now understand to be bipolar major depressive episodes. My illness has certainly given me an understanding of how someone can be that miserable to take their own life.

    But it doesn’t make the gut wrenching grief go away. I don’t know you at all, but I’m weeping for you and your family as I listened to your post about Christian. I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m sorry that my words are incapable of bringing any kind of real comfort. Just know that I too have this Bipolar stuff and it does suck so much and I appreciate the effort you are making to help people like me and Christian live as normal and fulfilling lives as possible. Sorry if I rambled on. Praying that the God of all comfort will bring comfort and peace to you and your family.

    Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

    1. I just finished watching “Chemical Hearts”. Generally speaking, it’s about teens’ struggles, especially with grief. Perhaps this story is another tool in the toolbox for people like Christian?
      Condolences to your family.

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