“They found his body,” were the words my husband told me. I dropped to my knees screaming. Words cannot express the utter sadness I felt when I received the news that my nephew, Christian, died of bipolar by way of suicide. I believe it is important to say that he “died of bipolar” and not he “committed suicide” because that implies he did something that was in his control. Bipolar had taken over his mind. I know, because I have been in the suicidal mindset myself and by the grace of God I was able to receive the medication I needed to get me out of my bipolar depression. Unfortunately, my nephew was not as lucky.
I could go on and on about how incredible my nephew was; brilliant, handsome, athletic, kind, infectious smile. But the reality is none of that mattered in the end because he was sick. He needed help. Why is it so dang hard for those of us with mental illness to find and receive help? We always say, reach out for help, but when we do it seems like not much happens. It took me two years of suicidal ideation to finally get the medication I needed. My nephew reached out multiple times, he even stayed at a psychiatric hospital. Nothing was helping him. When coronavirus hit and social distancing had him quarantined in his home without social interaction it took his mental illness from not good to uncontrollable.
I miss him. I miss him so much.
Please check on your loved ones, especially during this time of the pandemic. There is more than just the pandemic of the coronavirus happening, so many are suffering with their mental health as a result.
If you are suffering from a mental illness, please, please, PLEASE continue to reach out for help. You will feel better, these tough times will pass, you just have to give us time to help you.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255 should you or a loved one need to talk. If you feel it is an emergency, please go to your nearest emergency room. Let them help you. Please.
I love you.
If you wish to donate to Christian’s GoFundMe here is his link.