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Textbooks don’t come close to describing the day-in and day-out life someone with bipolar disorder lives. It seems that the general public has the misconception that people with bipolar disorder merely have “mood swings,” or are just “crazy.”

What the general public might not know is that yes, people with bipolar disorder do have mood swings, but nothing like what they are imagining. And yes, sometimes people with bipolar disorder do feel crazy. It would be hard not to feel crazy when your brain is ill. But this does not make us crazy.

The more the general public has an explicit understanding of what it means to have bipolar disorder the less stigma will exist, which is critical in helping people with the disorder to receive help. And at the very least, creates a sense of compassion for those battling a mental illness.

The next several posts will explore the various symptoms of ‘real-life’ manic and depressive episodes people with bipolar disorder experience.   Beginning now with the manic symptom I believe to be the most prevalent of all the manic symptoms.

Feelings of Heightened Energy and Creativity

Have you ever drank waaaaay to much caffeine (as in two pots of coffee) and felt as though you might burst from all the excess energy?  Although it’s energizing, it’s also an extremely tense and uncomfortable feeling, right?  I compare bipolar manic feelings of heightened energy as just this, except that jittery-espresso-filled-veins feeling never really goes away.   The energy can seem good at the moment (since the person is able to get a lot accomplished), but when the “caffeine” high wears off, the crash is devastating.

Heightened creativity feels like a compulsive need (not just a want) to create. To sit idly is torture. Some people during this state of mind will write for hours at a time about the flood of thoughts they are experiencing. It seems as though the bottom of the thoughts can never be reached, they just keep pouring in.

Bipolar disorder has been frequently associated with famous poets, composers, and other artists.  It’s important to note that although this connection can sometimes be “glamorized,” it is far from glamorous.  Many people who are in this creative manic phase will eventually need to be hospitalized, especially if the person stopped taking any prescribed medications.

The next blog post will explore ‘loss of sleep’ as the next manic symptom of bipolar disorder.

Also, please remember, I am not a doctor.   Just a so bipolar lady with a computer 😉 So if you suspect you or someone you know has bipolar disorder, always consult with your physician or psychiatrist first.

 

I‘m so bipolar, and unashamed.

 

 

The average person who has not lived with the effects of bipolar disorder will tell you that medication is the lazy man’s solution and that they’re “against” all medications. Insinuating that those who take medications are somehow weaker or less intelligent than they are.

Some from the anti-medication camp believe that by taking medication you are changing or “dulling” the person who you were created to be, albeit ill. Medication is merely a bandage for some unknown underlying cause.

It is better to suck it up, and use mind over matter to get better. So what happens when mind over matter doesn’t work?

You can get sick, incredibly sick. I have lived the devastating effects of family members going through severe manic and depressive episodes when un-medicated. The longer the brain is allowed to continue in these manic/depressive states the more difficult it becomes to be healthy in the long run.

Imagine a racehorse running around a muddy track for a day. The rut that the horse creates will be relatively minimal and the horse will easily be able to get out of its’ rut. Now imagine that horse running around a track in the same rut for over a year in that same mud.   The rut that horse will have created will be incredibly deep. The horse may not be able to climb out of its’ rut.

The same goes for someone with bipolar disorder. When the brain is in a depressed state the brain keeps creating a “rut” of being comfortable in the depressive state. The longer the brain runs in the depressive rut, the deeper the rut will be, and the more difficult it will be for that brain to climb out of its depressive state.

Those who choose to use prescription medication to alleviate bipolar symptoms should not ever be given a hard time for their choice. A diabetic would never be given a hard time for taking insulin, so neither should a person with bipolar disorder for taking a medication that will help their illness.

 Ultimately, the decision to medicate is up to the individual. But too many times I have seen people who are too sick to even make that decision. And unfortunately, the laws make it so that people are “allowed to be sick.” Part of breaking the bipolar disorder stigma lies in breaking the medication stigma.

I’m so bipolar, and unashamed.

“I have breast cancer.”

“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry. I’ll enter a cause for the cure race for you, I’ll pray for you.

“I have celiac disease.”

“That must be so difficult, what foods should I cook for you when you come to my house for dinner?”

“I have bipolar disorder.”

“Oh. Really?” (Pregnant, awkward pause.)

My wish for people with bipolar disorder is for us to be confident and unashamed in telling the world that we have bipolar disorder. God made us this way. It is not something we chose. Whether others understand our disorder or not, that should not take away from how we feel about ourselves. Just as the person with cancer or celiac disease does not feel like less of a person for having their illness. Although it’s in our illness’ very nature to feel this way, let us remind ourselves not to… easier said than done, I know.

For those of you who are reading this blog who do not suffer from bipolar disorder, know that if someone tells you that they have bipolar, that it took A LOT of courage to do so. Secondly, respond to them just as you would if that person told you they had any other illness or disorder. With compassion, understanding, a listening ear, and a “let me know if there is anything I can do for you.”

I am so bipolar, and not ashamed.